Women are gifted with the sixth sense. They can always sense when something is wrong or fishy and they are never (or rarely) wrong. It holds true even when it comes to their spouses cheating on them. If you are suspicious and feel that something is off about your husband, pay heed to the gut. To be sure, you can keep an eye out for some of the common excuses to cheat that your husband may be using.
Is your husband always ready with an excuse to leave the house and stay out late? Does he have to suddenly stay over for late-night client meetings? Has he started travelling for work which was not part of his portfolio? Is he spending more time grooming himself? Does he guard his phone like a million-dollar cheque?
Then these fit the bill of a cheating husband. It’s only a matter of time before you see the signs of cheating, and the excuses he comes up with will be repetitive.
How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?
Perhaps one of the most tragic misconceptions about cheating is that people stray because they fall out of love with their partners. It is not true. Most people don’t go out actively looking for someone to cheat with. Affairs don’t necessarily happen because something is wrong with a marriage.
According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 22% of men admit that they’ve cheated on their significant other at least once during their marriage. The Journal of Sex Research reported that men are more likely to cheat after 11 years of marriage. Well, it doesn’t guarantee that he’s not going to cheat before that.
‘About 55% of married Indians have been unfaithful to their partner at least once, of which 56% are women, according to the latest survey by Gleeden, India’s first extramarital dating app.’ According to Live Mint, Bengaluru ranked number one in infidelity cases.
According to Deccan Herald, ‘In general, male users look for women between 24 and 30, while women prefer older partners between 31 and 40. The men are “open to everything” and mostly look for “anything exciting”, while women are more cautious and mostly prefer “virtual” exchange’.
Men have a different approach to sex than women and are mostly never sexually satisfied with just one person. Cheating gives them a way out of boredom that a marriage normally falls into, as time passes. An affair brings excitement and thrill, they suddenly feel new and young!
It is the idea of mixing sex with the danger of getting caught that they love. The thrill of making excuses to get out of the house to meet your love gives them a heady rush. Wedding vows somehow slip into the background, so high is the desire to seek sexual satisfaction.
Related Reading: Confession Of Five Women Who Say, “My Husband Cheated But I Feel Guilty“
Warning Signs Of A Husband Making Excuses to Cheat
How do you get someone to tell the truth about cheating? You cannot! Generally, people do not accept something like cheating unless they are caught or forced to. Affairs come and go, cheaters cheat. So you will need to be smart if you want him to admit that he is cheating on you.
If something about this behavior doesn’t add you, stay vigilant about any excuses to cheat that he may be using. Also, be receptive to your surrounding. Sometimes, something as innocuous as an SMS can reveal an affair!
First and foremost he must not know that you are onto him, this will only make him more careful about covering his tracks. Silently observing and playing the ignorant wife is what will help you catch him red-handed. Here are some signs to look out for when it comes to a cheating husband:
- His phone is off-limits. He will not lend you his phone when you ask him for it. The times when he gives it to you, you will find his call log history and chat history deleted.
- There is a sudden spike in the ‘work-related’ phone calls and he always attends them in private. He may even sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to receive calls.
- He doesn’t seem to have time for you. Whenever you call him, he is busy. It’s as if he has lost interest in you.
- His expenses have suddenly increased. His credit card bills show him shopping in places where men don’t like to shop.
Husbands are experts in two things: lying right to your face and giving excuses.
Their imaginative abilities seem to work wonders when it comes to hiding things from their wives to be with their new lover/mistress. Where did all that imagination go when they had to plan dates and surprises for you?
Related Reading: Why it is important to save evidence against your spouse who’s cheating on you
12 Excuses to Cheat Husbands Commonly Give
‘I had not seen you in so long and I felt this longing, it didn’t mean much, I swear’. ‘Do you know how lonely it gets for me?’ ‘You have the kids and your parents, I am here all alone for our future’. A woman in a long-distance marriage found herself at the receiving end of these excuses when her husband’s cheating came to light.
How did she suspect him? He was online on Whatsapp at all odd hours! His ‘last seen’ was never more than 15 minutes off. He was not such a message person, she told us.
Cheating husbands always have a ready excuse for everything, whether it is for forgetting your birthday or not doing the household chores. These excuses of a married man only get better with time (and practice).
Don’t worry, these 12 cheat codes will help you decipher if your husband is making all these excuses to leave the house to cheat behind your cheating husband’s excuses.
1. There is this ‘work thing’ is one the most common excuses to cheat
A cheating husband loves to use work to avoid his wife. These husbands know that their wives cannot do anything about it when it comes to working, and they love it. Out of six working days if this ‘work thing’ comes up more than twice, then you have a reason to raise your brow. Work could be one of the excuses to leave the house to cheat that your unfaithful partner uses to spend time with his new fling.
Related Reading: 5 excuses your partner gives for cheating on you
2. Hitting the gym is often one of the excuses to leave the house to cheat
Since when has your husband become a gym fanatic? The man who is too lazy to put his plate in the sink is getting up regularly to go to the gym. If that doesn’t get you suspicious that he is making excuses to leave the house to cheat, what will! The gym thing has various possibilities. He could be hitting the gym to go after some girl who is a member there or maybe he is dating the hot instructor.
Maybe there is no gym after all. You expect your husband to be all sweaty when he comes from the gym, but instead, he smells all fresh, telling you that he had a shower at the gym. Could you call him an unfaithful partner for this? Heck, NO! But, did he shower at the gym or someone else’s place so that his wife doesn’t sniff another woman’s scent?
3. Frequent outings with friends? Or excuses to leave the house at night?
Men like their space and like to take an occasional night off, when they hang out with the guys to complain, engage in some banter and just unwind.
But how many boys’ nights is he having? How much does your husband need to hang out with his friends and leave his wife at home alone?
Is he really with the boys? Or making excuses to leave the house at night to for a romantic escapade with his girlfriend without you bothering him? Is it a boy’s night or a one-night stand? You may cross-check every once in a while to ensure that he is just not fooling you with random excuses to leave the house at night.
4. I love to golf in the mornings!
Golf is the perfect cover for cheating husbands. It is one of the best excuses of a married man who is lying to his partner and being unfaithful in the relationship. How else can he get away for an entire day that too on a holiday or Sundays?
A game of golf takes about 8-9 hours, which means that he can stall his wife for 9 hours without her suspecting anything. Since many wives don’t know about the game much, they don’t even ask questions about them.
5. Starting a heated argument
Sometimes when men run out of excuses, they even spark a heated argument to rush out of the house. He will make sure that it goes to a level where he has to storm out of the house looking angry. He takes advantage of your emotional imbalance during fights and uses it to his advantage. You too, tell him to leave, giving him exactly what he wants.
Related Reading: I Knew My Husband Was Cheating On Me Yet I Kept Quiet
6. Grocery shopping can also be one of the excuses to cheat
A true fact is that husbands hate any kind of shopping, especially grocery shopping. That is something they want to leave to their wives. When your husband comes forward himself and tells you that he is going grocery shopping, then you definitely need to be on the vigil.
7. A friend falling sick is one of the classic excuses of a married man
Your husband has to go and take care of a sick friend. And you know, the bromance is always above romance. This excuse is quite an easy way to get out of the house, and reject your calls and respond to your texts with just ‘I will call you later’. This simple thing can lead to a marital problem.
How many different friends have been sick in the past few months? Is he really sick or is it a ‘she’ he has to take care of? Why don’t you go along with your husband and see for yourself?
8. Urgent business trips are the perfect cover for cheating
Here comes the urgent business trip, the getaway card for all cheating husbands. It is also one of the most overused excuses to get away from the wife. Your husband tells you that he will be out of town for 2-3 days. What he forgot to tell you was it wasn’t a business trip at all but a mini-vacation for your husband and his new woman. Ever noticed that these ‘business trips’ fall on weekends?
9. Another friend in need is an excuse to cheat
Is there always a friend in distress and your husband rushing to the rescue? He may excuse himself to sort out marital issues of another man at his home while you and he are clueless about your own relationship problem.
Why does it always have to be your husband who has to help? It is because that so-called ‘friend’ only needs your husband to help her out with her sex drives.
10. Sleepover at a friend’s
Another one of the classic excuses to get out of the house to meet your love. Your husband tells you that the guys have planned a late night out along with a night stay at one of his friends’ houses. The whole thing of ‘I have not really been with my friends ever since I got married’ comes into play and as a good wife, you oblige.
They could be going for a late-night out for sure, but are you sure about the sleepover part?
It could be an excuse to get out of the house overnight and spend it in another woman’s bed.
11. Need to work on a project with a colleague
An important project came up and he has to work late with another colleague till late at night. Seems he is the right person to take the project on and the leadership wants him to take the lead. By any chance, is that colleague a hot co-worker your husband is sleeping with? Who knows what else he might be doing along with a work project. Is this one of his ‘never fail’ excuses to get out of the house overnight?
12. It was just sex!
Once you catch your cheating husband red-handed, he will come up with various excuses to justify his actions and love for you. He will say that it was just sex and it meant nothing. He will say that he loves you and will promise to end his fling to save his marriage. If he cheated you once, then what surety do you have that he will not do it again? Will a cheater cheat again?
Having a lying and cheating husband shakes the entire foundation of your marriage. Your future is at stake and you are at a point where you don’t know what to do with your relationship problem. If you forgive him, then you will never trust your cheating husband again and if you don’t forgive him, then your marriage will end.
We know that it is difficult to handle such a situation and thus you need to think it through so that you don’t make a decision you will regret later. If you do decide to work on your marriage, you must learn how to forgive your spouse and make your relationship successful despite this breach of faith.
7 Tips to Forgive A Cheating Boyfriend
Why would a partner continue to stay in a marriage after their spouse cheated on them?
My partner cheated on me with 17 others