You can’t ignore the suspicious change of behaviour in your spouse if you have been together long enough. But neither can you say you are living with a cheating spouse solely on the dint of suspicion. To be sure of your spouse’s cheating you would need physical evidence to confront them. This is because a person who is determined to deceive you will never come clean by having open and honest discussions.
The usual signs of coming home late, spending unaccounted money, investing more than usual time on personal grooming are some common ways to validate your suspicion, but it’s not enough to know for sure if your spouse has cheated on you. Your cheating spouse might carry cheating guilt but they would always be lying about cheating.
So it would be always up to you to look for the signs of cheating to understand if your spouse is having an extramarital affair.
They could be going through some serious life altering issues that they are not ready to share with you yet and trying on their own to cope with it. They could be developing a secret drug or gambling addiction. No matter what, you can never know for sure if your spouse has cheated on you solely based on their change in activities and preferences. But if you want nothing but the truth, you need to look at the right places.
Related Reading: 22 Sure Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend
How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?
If you are looking for the signs of a cheating spouse and feel that you are dealing with relationship infidelity then let us tell you that you are not an exception. We are aware that being suspicious of a spouse is extremely distressing but statistics show that more people have extramarital affairs than you can imagine.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys indicate that 15 per cent of married women and 25 per cent of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is about 20 per cent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. As more women began working outside the home, their chances of having an affair have increased accordingly.
In a relatively conservative society like India a survey conducted by dating app Gleeden showed about 55 per cent of married Indians have been unfaithful to their partner at least once, of which 56 per cent are women. Gleeden is an extramarital dating app and it crossed 10,00,000 users recently.
Statistically this goes on to show how the cheating spouse is a reality the world over over.
10 Signs You Have A Cheating Spouse
If your spouse is having an extramarital affair or your spouse is hiding something the signs will be all there. All you have to do is observe keenly and you will know what’s cooking. Here are 10 signs of a cheating spouse that you need to keep a lookout for.
1. Every liar has loopholes in their stories
If you have been married for a considerable amount of time you are probably aware of your spouse’s mannerism when they are telling the truth.
Even though it’s easy for you to assume that you already know this, don’t be so sure just yet. Ask them a few questions about things you already know the answer to and keenly observe their behaviour when responding to your question.
Notice the hand and feet gesture, eye movement and tone of voice. Do this for a few days to get really good at reading him. If they are cheating they would look away when they answer. And if they are lying and hiding things from you there would be loopholes in the story.
Related Reading: 12 Signs of a Lying Spouse
2. A cheating spouse will dodge question
When you think you are ready to take the plunge, take note of your spouse’s most suspicious absent times and slowly introduce your questions without causing any concern to them. Take full control of your emotions and don’t press if your spouse tries to dodge the questions.
Bring them up when they are not expecting them and really observe how they react. They would always try to dodge your questions and turn the tide of the conversation.
Also earlier if they loved to talk about their girls night out or boys time at the bar they wouldn’t anymore. Because they had not been there although they told you so. Ask a few questions around it and your suspicions will be confirmed.
3. Secretive about the phone
If you are looking for signs that your partner is cheating then just see how they behave around the phene. Some spouses become too secretive about their phones when cheating. They take calls away from you, they keep changing the passwords, their phone is busy at odd hours – but a skilled liar knows that these signs are obvious. So they adopt a completely opposite approach.
If your partner is lying about cheating then they could become extra-cool about their phone to not raise your suspicion. Any of these two behaviours can be a potential sign of a cheating partner.
4. They would be uninterested in sex
Similarly, a cheating partner turns cold about having sex with you over time or gets over enthusiastic about experimenting in the bedroom because of the reawakened libido.
There are always two ways about it. Your cheating spouse would always complain of a headache or tiredness in bed so that there would not be any physical intimacy between the two of you. Gradually they would make the lack of intimacy a given in your relationship.
The other way is they would want to keep experimenting in bed with new positions and new things. This is also a sign of a cheating partner because chances are they are already doing these same things with someone else and applying in your bedroom.
Related Reading: A True Account of Infidelity in a Marriage
5. They wouldn’t spend time with family
They also tend to ditch family times and time with the kids since they have to now manage their schedule for the secret affair.
You will know your spouse is hiding something if they are perpetually unavailable even for the kids. The Sunday swimming time or the Friday evenings spent with the children suddenly become busy work hours.
A cheating spouse will be constantly travelling for work, will work late at the office or will be busy with formal events and will have no qualms about neglecting the children.
6. They would be bringing home gifts
This is a classic sign of cheating guilt. They would not only surprise the partner with expensive gifts but they would also pamper the children with gifts and come home with goodies like pizzas and pastries often.
This is their way of making up for the lost time with their family and keeping everyone in good spirits.
7. They would take care of their appearance
A makeover is common. Spouses going through a mid-life crisis and having an affair at the same time are the ones prone to a complete make-over more often.
Otherwise don’t be surprised if the lisptick becomes a bit darker, the dresses become bolder or the spouse spends more on expensive deodorants every month. Spending more time in front of the mirror is a classic sign of a cheating spouse.
Related Reading: Her SMS To Me Revealed My Husband’s Extra Marital Affair
8. They start picking fights
Fights are normal in a relationship but you will know your partner is cheating if they are picking up fights that they wouldn’t have earlier.
A cheating spouse has to balance two relationships and that’s when the irritation starts building up. So chances are you become the target of all their anger and frustration. So the fights become more frequent, they could become aggressive and even violent. This is a sure shot sign that your spouse is having an extra marital affair.
9. A cheating spouse avoids family functions
Suddenly they are not comfortable at family events and don’t want to bond with the in-laws or cousins. This is a sure sign that your spouse is hiding something and they are scared that the family would be able to spot the difference in the behaviour.
If they are constantly avoiding family occasions and making excuses then you will know that your spouse is having an extramarital affair.
10. Lack of care and concern
Earlier your spouse could have taken an off from work if you had been unwell and in bed. But now they just ask you to pop a pill and hurry to work.
They are literally scared that they could end up being caring towards you because of your illness and they don’t want that to happen under any circumstances.
Signs a wife is cheating
When it comes to the genders the signs are a bit different. We tell you how women behave when they cheat.
- She could end up wearing things they never wore before.
- Become flirty in front of you.
- Make plans without you in the picture.
- Have a new circle of friends you don’t know.
- Can be engrossed in herself 24X7.
Related Reading: 18 signs your wife is cheating on you
Signs a husband is cheating
Men behave differently when they cheat. They lie more often and are never available.
- He starts treating the home as a hotel where he comes to sleep.
- Hides his credit card bills.
- Starts working out to improve physical appearance.
- Smiles to himself and whistles often.
- Becomes uncaring and ignores you.
Related Reading: 20 Warning Signs of a Cheating Husband Which Defines an Extra Marital Affair
In any case, a liar establishes the lies based on their intellect and deceiving skills. There is no fits-all sign that can prove his/her infidelity unless your spouse makes a blunder to dry the dirty laundry out in the open. But sooner or later every lie does come out. You get to know from the signs that your partner is cheating on you.
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