When it comes to dating, few things are as nerve-wracking making it official. Naturally, this is very present if you’re thinking about how to ask someone to be your girlfriend. What if you’ve completely misread the situation? What if she just wants to be friends or she has a boyfriend you didn’t know about? With all these open questions swirling around your mind, anxiety can easily build. But don’t worry; here’s how to overcome the fears and go for it!

When you think about how to ask someone to be your girlfriend, it’s normal to think about the worst case scenario. If this is you, don’t panic, you’re certainly not alone. And why is that? Well, as it happens, the fear of rejection is one of the deepest human fears we experience. 

Figuring Out How to Ask Someone to Be Your Girlfriend

Humans crave acceptance, so for many people, putting themselves in a situation where they could possibly face rejection—like asking someone to be their girlfriend—isn’t worth the risk. But it doesn’t have to be that terrifying. If you’re wondering how to ask someone to be your girlfriend, don’t be scared! Follow these four tips and you’ll be just fine.

#1. Know where you stand with her

Before you ask someone to be your girlfriend you should have an idea of where you stand with her and what her response will be. Have you gone on some really terrific dates? Has she dropped hints that she enjoys spending time with you? Has she mentioned that she’s looking for something exclusive? Do all signs point to her being super into you? Has told you she’s into you? 

These are all great signs! If you’re not sure where she stands or how she’ll respond, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask her to be your girlfriend. Just have realistic expectations and don’t be too hurt if she says no.

#2. Come right out and ask her!

Finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for: how to ask someone to be your girlfriend. The solution? Just ask her! When you’re asking someone to be your girlfriend you want to be as clear as possible. Don’t beat around the bush or try to be coy; it might muddy your intentions or make it seem like you’re playing games. 

Instead, say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, and I think this is the start of something special. I’m interested in taking things to the next level. Do you want to be my girlfriend?” It’s plain, simple, and sweet—and it leaves no room for confusion. 

To ensure you’re both on the same page, we recommend asking her in person. Sometimes, it’s easy to misinterpret someone’s intentions through a text; you don’t want her to think you’re being funny, making a joke, or being sarcastic. For more ideas on how to ask someone to be your girlfriend, read this helpful guide.

#3. If she says yes, make sure you’re on the same page about your new relationship

You just asked her to be your girlfriend, and she said yes. Congratulations! These days, there are many different types of relationships. That’s why it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page from the start of yours. Are you seeing each other exclusively or is either of you interested in seeing other people? 

It might seem intense to ask all of these questions right away, and you don’t have to address them the exact second you become official. But it is important to talk about what you want your relationship to look like sooner rather than later. If you don’t, people’s feelings might get hurt.

#4. If she says no, respect her decision

Being rejected sucks, but it happens to everyone. If you figured out how to ask someone to be your girlfriend and she says no, you have to respect her decision. Don’t press her for details, don’t ask her why, don’t ask her if she’ll change her mind in the future, and don’t whine, complain, or get angry. It’s okay to be disappointed in her answer, but it’s not okay to take your frustration out on her. 

The truth is, you might not know why she said no; it might have nothing to do with you. She could have feelings for someone else, still be getting over an ex, or simply not looking for something serious. The best thing to do is respect her decision and leave it at that. We know that’s easier said than done, but it’s important to try.

There’s a subtle art to knowing how to ask someone to be your girlfriend. You have to be confident but not cocky. When you’ve met the right girl and you’re ready to make things official, take a deep breath and go for it. You’ve got this!

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