For many men, there is a real fascination with anal sex. It is like a forbidden fruit, the entering of a hole that was likely never designed for sex. Those who like it though will swear by it, saying it gives a really tight fit and an incredible experience. This was discussed by my colleague Lara Mills in a blog back in 2017.
That doesn’t mean everyone is into it though. Personally, it isn’t my scene as that is where poo comes from. For women, the reason is likely different, with pain being at the forefront of their minds.
As I have already said, the anus wasn’t designed to be fucked, so it will naturally be more uncomfortable unless steps are taken to mitigate it. But what are these steps?
Well, today we are going to look at how to make anal sex less painful and hopefully pain free. We hope that it comes in useful for both male and female readers.
1) Lube Up
Unlike the vagina, the anus is not naturally self-lubricating. It is this lubrication that makes the penis slip in, so you don’t need me to tell you that without the lube, it will be more difficult enter, and that is where the pain comes from.
Therefore, you need to get some lubricant, and smother it over the anus and the penis. Also, part of the way through, don’t be shy about stopping and reapplying, as the lube can wear off after a while.
2) Relax The Sphincter Muscle
This may take time, but the woman needs to learn to relax the sphincter muscle. The more you tense up, the more it is likely to hurt.
The lady can start doing this by setting some time aside to relax herself BEFORE she gets to the bedroom. She can do this by slipping a lubed finger into her anus, and when that is comfortable, put a second one in. She can then maybe slide a sex toy up there. By then it should start to feel relatively normal.
3) Ease Into It
It is important that the man doesn’t start banging away like he is in a porn film. Instead, the guy needs to go slow at the start, and gradually go quicker. The fella may need to show some self-control, but if he does, he will reap the benefits later.
4) Porn Isn’t Real
We have all seen anal porn, and it has the guy going like a jackhammer. In reality, this is really not the way to go. It will be uncomfortable in the extreme for the lady.
Instead, the woman should be in control, either backing into the man when in the spoon position, or lowering herself when in the cowgirl position.
Porn is there to get men off and isn’t to be used as an educational tool. The scene would be a lot less hot if it represented the true world of anal sex, with both people having to be careful so not cause damage.
5) Stimulate The Clitotis
You can do this by either using a hand or a sex toy. It will have two effects, both positive. Firstly, the clitoris being pleasured will feel nice and so can take the woman’s mind off any kind of discomfort she may be feeling. Even more importantly, the stimulation will cause the sphincter to relax. It is that relaxation that will allow the pleasure to begin.
6) If it Hurts, Stop
One big myth about anal sex is the idea that you need to keep going if it hurts. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
If it actually hurts, you need to stop and check out these tips again. If she is feeling pain, then it is likely you are not doing something right, or the woman just has an inability to relax in this position.
It may take time, but with these tips it is more than likely the woman will be able to have comfortable or pain free anal sex. Still, no-one should ever feel pressured into this kind of fun, so if your partner really doesn’t fancy it, maybe see if there is an escort in your area who is willing to do it. There are many who will, and they are denoted by those who have it ticked on their profile. Follow the button and see who is willing to meet you.
Pain free anal can be fun, but if you cause or receive pain during it, it becomes extremely unlikely that you will be trying it again any time in the near future.
So, read and learn folks, read and learn.
Since then, he has specialised in articles on the battle for equal rights for sex workers, sexual health, as well as bringing the readers fun news from around the world. He also has a major interest in LGBT rights, and is an active campaigner in this field.
When he isn’t fighting the good fight, he enjoys spending time with his girlfriend, and young daughter. He also enjoys reading and taking long walks.
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